How To Make Space for Self Care When You 'Just Can't...'

Photo x Umit Bulut

Photo x Umit Bulut

Do you ever struggle with taking the time out to nourish and care for your own needs? You are not alone.

With everything going on — all the demands, endless tasks and to-do lists of modern life — it can be so challenging to allow yourself that space, because you are wound up.

But that's EXACTLY why you need to give yourself the space… Because how can you even breathe right, let alone do your great work and support the people you love, when you are so tightly wound up in fight-or-flight mode??  

Believe it or not, I have struggled around this topic of self-care and self love for years…and wow have I learned a lot about both (!). But the main thing right now I want to share with you is something I have been noticing with myself and many of my clients lately: 

A lot of resistance coming up to actually DOING the self care stuff! 

Even if you know what's best for you, and what makes you feel happy, and healthy and nourished, sometimes it's just so damn hard to just do it!

How do you get to that point of just doing it, scheduling in and allowing yourself what you know your mind-body-soul truly needs, when you are managing all these conflicting the realities of life? 

(Just keeping on top of what your responsibilities demand with work, family, and everything else is a lot — sometimes it feels like a hassle to just eat correctly, let alone take care of everyone's needs.)

And the thing is, if you aren't careful, even self care can feel like another burden to add to on top of all the other guilt you carry around how you "should" be living. 

If that's the case for you too sometimes, I invite you to shift your perspective around your 'shoulds.' Instead of pushing away your real needs and adding them to the list of to-do's, simply notice when you are feeling unsatisfied, exhausted or stretched and inquire: 

"Is it possible that I could care for myself enough to just listen for what I really need at this time?"

Because if you aren’t allowing yourself the space to be able to even open into caring more deeply for yourself , then good luck with ANY of it!!!

The good news is:

You don't even need to "love yourself." Just be willing to soften enough to breathe, and feel into what nourishment your body, heart and soul are really craving right now. You may be surprised to find out what you are really needing may be a lot more simple and accessible than you thought!

Establishing this open and loving dialogue with yourself is truly the foundation for EV'thing else.... 

Does that make sense? *nodding head*

It's a fundamental shift in thinking about how to care for your needs.

So I ask you now: 

Can you be self-respectful and caring enough to just open the space to listen for what you are really needing at this time?

That's most of the battle right there. And the beauty of this is, you don't even need to do anything with what comes! *phew* 

Just being open to listening to your body and heart's desire, and receive the nourishment that arises from that honest open inquiry, is often enough for you to start receiving what you need.   

If you are more than ready to enjoy your life and divine purpose at a higher level, here are some of my current favorite self-care basics.

Hope these inspire you to give yourself whatever it is you are really craving and needing: 

1. Sleep more, sleep earlier, nap often!

2. Nourish yourself! Body, heart, mind and soul. 

3. Get out into nature (and hug a tree—for at least 30 seconds!!) 

4. Connect deeply with a few people you love, and hug them a bunch as well

5. Breathe deeper. Exhale slowly. And do both more.

Now I invite you to take a deep breath in, and read those again! I know you skimmed LOL. Go back. Notice if any of these areas are tugging at your heart. Read slowly, and really take them in.... 

Does your body have something to tell you?

Does your heart crave some deep nourishment you have not been giving it? 

I mean listen — you may "know" all this, but it's a different story to know your own needs deep in your bones, and open up to receive the nourishment you need.

If you are suffering from any mental or physical health challenges, there are literally no symptoms or underlying issues I know of, that cannot be improved by opening the space to listen to the needs of your being and taking action around what arises.  

So, what do you think— can you dig it? Now you: 

What kind of deep soul nourishment are you craving?

Can you just open to listen and hear that desire, in whatever form it appears?

And if you can’t have that exact thing you crave right now, what’s the closest thing to it that may just scratch that itch and nourish your heart?

Hope this helps you nourish you! It's so important that you take care of “number one.” For you, and all of us! 

And if you need more support in learning how to listen to your body, heal and soothe anxiety, grief and overwhelm, my Breathwork coaching, healing sessions and classes can be a goddess-send.