The Pegasus and the Monk: When Self Care is No Longer Optional
I had this vision in which thousands of people were slowly dying because they could not get enough air. They had forgotten how to breathe! Starved for oxygen, their cells were dying off, their blood was thinning, their faces pale and sickly. No matter how much food they ate, they were not able to get the nutrients they needed for their bodies.
I was a monk in Buddhist attire – burgundy robes, shaved head and wooden prayer beads in one hand. In the other I spun a Tibetan prayer wheel with my eyes closed in meditation, silently chanting the prayer, "Om Mani Padme Hum."
Everything was dark – the thickness of death was in the air. It was weeks, months, I don't even know how long I had been there praying in meditation. Praying for help for our village to no avail...but suddenly that moment there was a break in the clouds, and a beam of light came through. I cracked my eyes to see an angelic looking being on a pegasus come flying through the break on a huge gust of wind! With every flap of wings the darkness dispersed and light began to shine. Everywhere he pointed his pegasus's head, beams of light would shoot out and melt the cold spell. The shroud was lifting, invisible bindings were cracking open, and people were starting to breathe freely again.
As the binds broke and they could finally breathe all the way in, many of them would spontaneously burst into tears. Some bawling so hard they could barely catch their breath! Others were screaming and laughing, the life coming back to their faces again.. Children were running around and jumping with excitement.
I watched this all in amazement as my heart burst open with tears of joy too. Could this be real?? Then I noticed this being on the pegasus start charging towards me....
So long I had been praying for some salvation to come and break the spell of heaviness — this bound up tension and anguish that was keeping us all from being able to breathe fully. We needed a change, a break from the spell, and it was all I could do to keep praying for the light to come, and continue doing my practice. Now it seemed my prayers were being answered, but at what cost?
As he started to charge towards me I had a moment of panic – will he be angry for summoning him forth from his heavenly hosts? Will he trample me with this magical pegasus? Or perhaps he'll just sweep me up with him and we'll fly to wherever he comes from together! I don't know what scared me more.
A thousand thoughts flashed in my mind as my heart raced. Rising up to flee, I suddenly remembered what my teacher had taught me — it is just when we are at the point of salvation that we believe all is lost, it is then when we are tested and must remember and come back to our practice above all. A wave of calm came over me, and I remembered the breath. As I took a deep breath in and exhaled even more slowly, I noticed he slowed down too.
Galloping towards me now on his pegasus as if in slow motion, wings folded, soft now he was like an ethereal flutter of light. As I breathed deeper and still more slowly I felt him breathe with me too, moving closer until his essence reached out and began merging with mine. Then it was if we were joined in breath and it was as though we were galloping together!
Closer he came until he was just before me, my heart heaved as at that moment with a flash of iridescent rainbow light he leapt into my consciousness. Circling up as though I were in a funnel of light going to the heavens, there was just the light and the swirling and exhaustion of a thousand cries for every child of the earth who lived his whole life without learning the secret of the sacred breath – until that too was swept up and away with all the rest of the world's sadness. Until there was no more heaviness, but only love. So light that I was floating now through the sky. I had merged with the essence of this being and now I noticed the glorious horse with wings surrounding me. And as I looked down I saw there were no more dirty red monk robes. I become someone or something different entirely. What now?
Down below I could see how the darkness had broken where I had been and where now there was only patches of it left behind. The people could breathe again, the color had come back to their faces, the disease was clearing from their bodies, and so I continued onwards....
As I flew through the air and started heading up towards the heavens I felt a pull to go somewhere I was needed. Could there be somewhere else where I could go and alleviate the spell of darkness?
As I traveled forward led only by my instincts and the call of the pegasus, the temperature dropped all around me. Surrounded by a shield of warm light with my steed to light the way, I was bolstered against the cold. As I rode through the darkness, as though projected on an invisible screen ahead of me, I could see a man sitting in meditation. I heard his prayers too. From a whisper to a roar. Praying for a reprieve from the dark binds that held him confined, praying for his loved ones, his children and the family of humankind. So I travelled faster. I did not know what would happen or how, but there was just a deep knowing that this was my calling now — it was my job to deliver the rainbow light of relief to him. And it was then that I saw – just as he was the one who was calling me forth, I was the one who had called my angel forth too.
What would become of him – would he be lifted and transmuted into the light too? Would he then take my place and continue onwards as I had? Would I be able to do what I had been called to do? And then I felt the bigness of this work - the importance of it. The significance of it. It didn't feel heavy or burdensome in any way, just like a good job to have. A privilege and an honor to be able to serve in this way. I knew that it would just work, and by surrendering fully, just as I had to the practice for my whole life, I did not have to worry about anything working or not, or how it would work, but just to trust the call and carry onwards...and then I felt the energy surging stronger even to carry me faster.
As the joy of being able to serve in this way grew to fill my whole being, I felt my breath expanding into a thousand wings of light stretching out like beams to the heavens, and as I got closer and closer to this praying man it felt as though time slowed down too...a great boundless joy filled my heart and soul and I saw what it was that he needed. Just to merge with the infinite love that was carrying me also – to raise that light in his own being until it was so strong that the darkness could not hold. Until there was nothing but pure love. The sound of love, if there could be such a thing, I could only describe it as a symphony that filled every cell of my being. As I approached him then, he raised his eyes and in them I could see the glow of all the children of the earth flooding us with their eternal light. Until light was all there was, and the freedom of a life alive with love.
When I opened my eyes I looked over at the picture of Archangel Metatron on my desk and saw the beams from his light come flashing out to touch my heart. Then I understood..
I used to believe that healing and self care and all that stuff was a luxury for the rich and privileged, the self-absorbed new agers. As I've watched people that I love drop off from illness and disease while others commit suicide from anxiety, depression and addiction, I've learned not only how powerful an effect these practices can have but how essential they are. Healing and energy work, mindfulness practices and self care – these are not a luxury any more. They are the key to our survival in this ever more fast-paced, toxic and intense modern age.
Surrounded by darkness and bound by sadness and anger, the clouds of desperate solitude, the emptiness of separation from ourselves and each other, we have no option but to waste away slowly. Staring at screens all day, filling the bottomless pit with more junk, we cover up these gaping wounds with shiny pretty things while underneath the foundation rots away.
We have become so bound up by our modern lives and minds, we can hardly breathe! We can barely see through the thick heaviness of the air. We cannot be truly free. The only possible solution is to become light again. To call in the light and break the spell. We must learn how to breathe, but even that is not enough if we cannot remember to do it!
When we decide to take some time to love and care for ourselves – to go to be in nature, to soak in the springs or even just a tub, to run and play in the tides, we open ourselves to joy again, we cracking open the shell just enough that some more light can come in. Then we can anchor that and call it in more. We can be like the monk in my vision and call in the light to save ourselves and our village.
As we heal and clear the energetic heaviness of our lives and minds, we are able to breathe just a little deeper. We are able to drop into a deeper functioning level of existence. We are able to call in the light and see more clearly. The work also clears the light to call in the angels and helpers – those beings who are really just a manifestation of our own light. Then we are also able to be that angel for the world, and for the people we love.
So many people are suffering from disease and illness in our modern world now. The rates of heart disease and cancer and lung disease are the most shocking and prevalent. Why are these numbers so high? Yes, there are genetic and environmental factors, but the ones that we have some degree of control over – our diets, our health and wellness practices, our breath! These are often the ones that are the simplest to implement and have the greatest impact. To reduce stress so that your body can rest and recover. To fill your lungs full with oxygen so your blood is enriched, so your heart rate can ease off and your blood pressure too....
The anxiety, the fear, the anguish, the unhealed darkness – it eats away at us from the inside. It deprives us of the vital life force we need to thrive. Of course, you have to have enough love inside to actually care for yourself, but you know love is a pretty powerful thing! Just the tiniest trickle can turn into a flood.
For empaths, healers and the highly sensitive ones especially, it is our nature to take on everyone else's unhealed, unseen and untold pain as an unconscious mechanism to help them. For us, it is even more crucial. The healers and artists gotta call in the support of other healers even more so then we realize!
Self care is no longer optional – it is an absolute necessity.
These practices of mindfulness, energy healing, breathwork, meditation, and yes–long bath soaks and spa days too!–they require just a dash of self love, a little discipline, and sometimes a little support to stay on track. Align yourself with people who are on a similar path and share your values – so essential, this is huge. To be uplifted by the people you are connected with, so you are emboldened in your commitment. So you can support each other to break the shrouds that set in. So you can call in your pegasus and bring on the light! Bolstered on the path. Free in your heart to do the work of your Soul.
This work that you do to care for yourself matters so much, it is the greatest blessing for us all. Thank you.
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