Taking the Space for Life
I played with a crab. I made friends with the lady at the market. I cooked an amazing dinner of steak and potatoes. I spent hours just contemplating my life, and what I want to make of it. I started journaling with a pen and paper for the first time in ages. I fell in love with a stunning Swedish girl who makes my heart shake. We danced on the beach at night and swam in the water, playing with the waves. I battled with my heart and the woman I still love from the last relationship that ended in bittersweet tears.
There is nothing sweeter than this moment -- when I decide that to be true. Nothing sweeter than living a life of happiness, love, truth, adventure. That's a decision I make every day to look at this life a certain way.
I stand and walk and watch myself. What I see is someone with a lot of dreams, and a heart full of hope. Someone who wants to improve. Someone who still wants to "be someone" -- to make something great of this life. Is that bad to want to "be someone"? -- perhaps it's ego still, but I'm not too concerned about spiritual perfection. I want to be happy and fulfilled and die knowing that I strived to be the best person I could be in this life. Ego is not the enemy -- the belief that ego is bad, that somehow who you are and what you want in your heart is bad -- that's the enemy.
When I look at being the best I can be -- it's big, way bigger than a blog. I love to write, and I love to love, and I love to play my ukelele. But what I love most of all is the space of being in connection with the truth of who I am. And sometimes that just takes space. The space to be with that, and all that encompasses.
Sometimes that means I don't publish a new post for several weeks. When I'm really living my life, a lot of stuff happens -- stuff that doesn't want to be put into words; stuff that shouldn't be put into words; stuff that couldn't be put into words even if I wanted to.
Today I go out for my first surf lesson. I've been watching and waiting for weeks. Going out and swimming with the surfers, bodyboarding, watching the waves and learning from the sea. From what I've seen, and how much joy the surfers cultivate and live through the sport, I think this is one of the greatest sports there is. And dangerous. I've seen a couple friends come back with a bunch of stitches, and other injuries. And I've been out there tossed around in the current and the waves. They can be vicious. But you probably know I like to push the edges and play with danger a bit. I think that's part of a life well lived.
I probably won't write a lot about my experiences surfing, but for the next month I plan to go out several times a week and hopefully catch a few waves. I'm settling into the beautiful San Juan Del Sur, Nicaragua, for a while, and plan to find an apartment of my own where I can focus on knocking out some real work, strengthening my business, tying up some loose ends, and finally learning to surf. It's time.
Thanks for being a part of this. When I think about what I want most in the world, I want to share it with you -- with a group of people who really understand, and really want to make a better life for yourself and a better world for us all too. Even if that means sometimes we take the time out to live on our own -- away from the fray -- to experience the process of living a better, more truthful life, without having to explain anything to anyone. Least of all that which cannot be put into words.
I hope you take the space regularly to be who you are, whatever that may be, without any compromise, or any explanation, or any self doubt.
You are on the greatest path there could possibly be. Let's fly.
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