The trouble I find with so much writing and teaching on personal development is it’s more words and ideas than substance. More teaching than showing. More selling than serving. Worst of all is when it perpetuates more pain and confusion than truth or healing. And this is true for so much of what we create as passionate, caring, committed humans, no matter how mindful or well intentioned we may be. You look at where and what it comes from, you look into the motivations of the people who are creating and sharing it, you see the emptiness and lies we are surrounded with, and your heart cannot help but breaking open for what is there.
I want to share something that changes your life, every time.
I want to whisper into your soul and flip the switch that makes you go ahhhh!
I want to linger in your memory like that once-in-a-lifetime embrace when you finally received the nourishment you craved your whole life (‘was it a dream or was it real?’).
I want to go deep with love, and then deeper still, because it’s the only way I know that truly soothes my soul.
What do you want to receive? Maybe something of what I look for too…
A light that went off in my heart turned on.
A recognition that I’ve found someone who maybe, just maybe, might understand me.
A feeling I can take with me, to hold in my heart and fill the space of love that left.
Another human being who values what I do — who holds the experience of life in a space of humble awe and reverence and respect.
And kindness. True kindness. Always, kindness. So precious. Rare.
I think it’s what we all really want. Something simple and complete. To be witnessed and received. To be honored and respected. And maybe, if we’re lucky, to be that person for someone else we love.
When we share the work of our soul, we’re always secretly hoping to elicit a response — to feel and hear and experience that love reflected back to us in some way. No matter how healed or strong or loved we may be, we will always need this in some form. There’s nothing more painful then when our creations are ignored. An echo of love sent back on deaf ears. But how can we expect to receive anything more than what we sent out? When we were deaf and blind to our very own heart. Can we really expect the love that we crave when our own self worth and value is so twisted up and locked away behind walls of hardened resin and steel?
How can it ever be enough, when our own hearts are too closed off to be satisfied in receiving anything less than riches, fame and recognition??
A heart that has no real kindness or compassion for itself is a hard and jagged place to rest. It offers no refuge or respite from the cold cruel world in which it grew — through which we have all emerged in some form. It brings more sadness, tearing at the seams in our hearts. Like a bucket with cracks that can never hold water, or that hole in your pocket where keys get lodged and coins are lost forever, it’s a place where no amount of love can ever be enough.
I can think of so many creators who are friends online and almost continually working from this place. Always pushing levers to elicit response, and not really present to receive when we do show up to try and help or offer some kindness and attention. Never satisfied. Never enough.
You can see it all the time and almost everywhere you look. I have been there! I know what it’s like. That part is here in all of us. It just is. It’s there. It’s waiting to be seen and held. Loved into wholeness.
I don’t care how much self work you’ve done, or how proud you are of your scars, there is no end to the healing you can do to bring yourself into wholeness. To fully embody the strength and power of your true self. I can speak from so many years of experience, so much soul healing I have done, it only gets easier with time and practice. Each layer revealing another. And sometimes things just have to get temporarily uglier and messier before they get better. Just a fact of life. The funny way things work.
If you want to receive something akin to the fullness of your spirit, you absolutely can! This I know. You can speak from the heart and soul as much as from the mind. You can show us what is really true. You can draw from the well of your love. In giving from that place your work becomes a thousand times more resonant. So much more powerful. And if you can stay open to receive, that much more love in return.
Just please don’t speak down to us like churchgoers from the pulpit. Don’t create and teach and share without acknowledging your own place in the darkness you seek to dispel. Make space for all of what’s inside. Give from a place of true generosity. Not because you are trying to convert emotions into sales, or just to get a rise, or something more than what you have to give. Share the love, because it feels good. Simply because it is. Good.
You are here to do some good and share the light, to be that something for the people you love in the world. Are you not? Is that not in the end what you truly want to give? And to receive? And to Be? You see, your beautiful big heart, your passionate soul, the sadness and regret underneath it all — it really just wants a little love and recognition. A lot of love and compassion. And then some more. Pretty please…with cherries on top.
Hahaha tralalahh! Silly little sad heart. Beautiful broken-hearted friend. Bucket full of holes. You are welcome too. Here is some light so that we both may see more clearly…some putty to help you patch the cracks with love. I feel you, I recognize you, I welcome you.
I won’t claim to love you as you are. Who can even say? Do I know you really? I have so much love to give and share in heaps though…. Perhaps I do know you, because I swear that I can feel your heart looking through my eyes and these words when you come here to read. I can feel so much of what you feel. At times it’s like your heart and mine they almost beat together…and yes, so much love in there.
It hurts me sometimes to feel that sadness, but the more that I love it to wholeness inside myself, the more that I can receive your heart too. Just as it comes. I can receive, because it’s all in there. Underneath it all, there are no cracks. No holes to be found in the sea of love. And if you come forward honestly, and share your light with me, I promise I will look for it, and I will find it, and I will receive you fully. No matter how shrouded it may be I will see the light in you, and then it will have no choice but to shine a little brighter.
Ahh yes that feels so much better! So lovely and warm and true. :)